Category: Uncategorized

Our Calling

Hey guys! I’m honestly struggling. Wr all have our sins and I’ll go ahead and tell you mine I struggle with sexual impurity. I struggle with giving men what I yearn from God. I give sex to get love. Which is opposite of what guys do they give love to get sex. It pulls me away from God because God is against sexual immorality. I struggle with following in his calling because I know I have to be willing to give up life long dreams that I have held since the beginning of time. I always had the idea of the perfect husband and the perfect children and the perfect life. Taking up cross means putting those ideas to rest and that’s not saying God does not having somebody for me but it means I don’t search for it or obsessive over it. It means I do what God needs me to do and he will do the rest. Way easier said than done. If you’re reading this and are encouraged by it comment below and let me know what you struggle with and what helps you whether be prayer or a scripture or a thought. Love and prayers. Yours truly ❤️

I am Sad

I have decided to devote time to write on my blog everyday. Today is not the best day for me. I am sad just typical run of the mill sad but sad nevertheless. I honestly do not when it started but I know that I am in some kind of funk I cannot get out of. I do not believe it makes me any less a christian it just makes me human. I had a good Bible fellowship but from some reason when I got in the sanctuary I could not sit through service I was just bogged down and felt like I did not belong. Nobody was mean or uninviting I just was feeling so wrong and I could not possibly sit there another moment. I have come to the conclusion that I am very depressed today. I have prayed but I honestly believe I am in a transition season in my life and sometimes I need to experience sadness and depression because my life is changing and I know that I will may never have another day like this. While on one side of the spectrum that is so exciting and I am ready for a new chapter in my life but in another side of the spectrum that is scary and I am not sure if I am making the right choices. I am praying for wisdom most of all I want to be able to tell what a good move is and what a not so good move is. I want to follow Jesus and go wherever he sends me. God has been so good to me despite of all my failures and disappointments. I believe that God can still use me and wants to still use me to touch people in all walks of life. I want to end this blog with a prayer.

Dear God,

Thank you for all the people reading this. This is not coincidence. God I pray for all the readers that they seek you with all their hearts and that they find you. Your plan is so much better than our plan. You want good for us never evil or hurt. Even in my sadness today I can look outside and see your goodness in everything you do. I love you with all my heart and I trust in you everything. You are my God and my salvation and I trust only in you. In all thanks to you be the glory, Amen.

Deleting all the Apps

I have literally been on every dating app possible. I have had the hardest time being single. Like it kills me. Never mind the only relationship I have ever been which resulted in a child ended up crashing and burning. I have a hard time listening to God and his timing I’m more about me and my time. Patience is my hardest virtue to come by but God has really shown my stubborn self mercy and understanding. I know now that God is ENOUGH for me. If I never find somebody made for me God will always be enough. I finally deleted all my apps and now I’m praying if there is somebody for me he’s in love with God as I am. And is using this time to grow closer and closer to Jesus as I am. I pray that you guys come to the same conclusion that nobody will ever be able to fill the position God is supposed to feel and that God is enough. I love you guys prayers to all!

New Beginnings

Beginnings are always exciting especially when you are starting over. I recently gave my life back to God and it is like seeing the world through a whole new set of lenses. It is hard being a new person in your old body though. People seem to already have a view of you. Paul of the new testament knew that better than anybody else. He used to hunt Christians down and than out of nowhere became one. God can do magnificent things in people you never thought had the potential of doing something wholesome. I used to be a christian before I turned away from God but as I think back on my walk with God I am not sure I was really a christian back then. I feel like I was going through the motions and I never truly had a true faith that would have honestly lasted during turbulence. God has shown me awesome things during just this week. I was getting a little bit discouraged because I did not know a lot of people my age that was a strong christian so I went on Youtube. I searched christian youtubers and one the first accounts I really watched and was interested in was Coffee and Bible Time. I have had them on repeat for a week just watching their various videos. I was really encouraged by their faith and I really wanted to give support to people like they were doing for me. At first I was really hyped about creating a youtube channel but I am definitely not made to be in front of a camera at least not yet anyways. I do like writing so I decieded to create a blog. This is just a space for me start over and be able to truly be able to witness and encourage others on their walk with Christ. I cannot wait to write more. Lots of Love.